Know'Imean?

You're nicked you little toerag.

Fact: I once stood in line (at an abc store) to have Burnside sign a picture book of "dabill" for the D.

Living with that boy has addled my brains.

WOMENS MAGAZINES OF THE 1920`s 1930`s, 1940`s, role of women, women in society

a case of curiosities - fine art taxidermy & assemblage

(for Jodi)

"You're Missing" by Bruce Springsteen kills me. Kills.

Smell of Early Summer

The full on heat and humidity that is normal par for the course during summer hasn't hit us yet. These are those few last golden moments before it does. I love the smell in the air. It is the smell of new green things and perhaps a hint of rain.

That smell reminds me of being a kid again and waiting for that magical first day of summer vacation...you know, before you are bored and hot and tired of it all.

When I think of summer I inevitably think of the paleterias that used to look forward to frequenting. My favourite was always a paleta de tamarindo, a love which I don't think many gringos have developed. I love the taste of tamarind. It is a taste that is somewhere between sour-pulpy and gritty-earthiness. The would put acidito and chile in the paletas, and the chile would settle like sediment in the top part of the paleta (ie. frozen upside down of course). I loved how gritty this part of the paleta was compared to the soury icy smootness of the rest of it.

A close second favourite was the coconut paletas (Nicole, hush!) I loved how there would be fresh coconut pulp in my popsicle, providign the same rough/smooth combination that I really love.

I guess summer is a bit like that in the south, rough and smooth together. Choking wet heat and miraculously clearing cool nights (if you are lucky). The sharp contrast of the sun so strong it stings your skin, as you jacknife into cool blue chlorine water....

Baskin-Robbins - Free Scoop Night

HoustonChronicle.com - Corn tortillas are celebrated on both sides of the border

There is nothing in the world yummier than fresh handmade tortillas......

Movies I've Never Seen

(or: My Personal Movie Disinterest and The Unwatched Titles That Inspire Fits of Disbelief)

1. Caddyshack (no interet whatsoever)
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show (yawn)
3. Urban Cowboy (one look at the scary wranglers was enough)
4. Animal House (yawn)

- Oh and there are TONS more. Dare I say it? I'm no movie afficionado. I'm just not into the whole "thing" of movies. I like off beat and spectacularly cheesy movies...when I'm in the right mood. But very few movies actually inspire enough interest in me to go sit with a potentially SARS infected population to breath in other people's breath for two hours while an overly hyped and very predictable storyline plays in front of my eyes and blasts my eardrums to pieces. Oh yes, there are exceptions...I am completely gleeful that the Matrix follow ups are being released this year, but only time will tell if even that will inspire me to actually go to a theatre to watch.

Hey y'all, I'm home!

Yesterday, during a business meeting no less, I used the term "y'all" with absolutely no irony. I was secretly amused with myself. When I first moved to Australia it was one of the first texan-isms to leave my vocabulary (it's one of those words that SCREAMS "yank") and it just happens to be one of the very last to come back.

I guess it is the opposite to to-MAH-to and ba-NAH-na, both of which were some of the last 'strayanish things I picked up (and said with no irony), and some of the first to leave the vocabulary when I came back.

Granted, some texan-isms I never lost the entire time I was in the antipodes and some strayanisms (and scots slang) I picked up while I was there will probably never leave. I've now gotten to the point where I've forgotten the origin of some of the slang/expressions I use. For example, I used 'y'all" like this yesterday: "Bossman said y'all go ahead, he's stuck in a telco where everyone is gas-bagging about renewables. I'm chuffed to have gotten out of there"

Everyone I was addressing understood the y'all....had no clue what "gas-bagging" or "chuffed" was. It took me a minute to figure out what part(s) of the above they didn't understand.

Butterfly Alphabet, Inc. - Photographic Archive

A Perfect Dinner:

Jicama, cucumber and mango with lime andLucas Acidito Chili Powder.

Movies I did not love this weekend:

1. The Unbearable Lightness of Being: I now remember why I coudn't read the book. Maybe it's just like Ayn Rand......my brain refuses it.
2. The Virgin Suicides: So they kill themselves, so what?
3. The Ring: the most tolerable of the lot...but still pretty yawn-inspiring. Yes the girl was creepy. But as D said, just 'cos you stick an ugly boy child who is "wise beyond his years" into a movie, does not make it a good creepy movie. (I think Jodi wrote about this some time ago.)

A Positive End to the Kayak Saga

(or: What a beautiful day it was.)

So we've had some rinky dink inflatable kayaks for about a month and half now...or perhaps even longer. We've been desperate to take them out on the lake we have access to but something has always thwarted us (dog business, eye business, painting, bad weather etc.)

Well yesterday was one of the most gorgeous days we've had around these parts yet. We knew it would be criminal to not take advantage. So we packed up the kayaks and pump, some cold drinks, sunblock, a token dog (Ruby, the "good dog") and roused some friends from their post friday-night stupor (we were to blame for that as well...but I might post about it later).

What followed was six hours of picture perfect weather (not a cloud in the sky and only the gentlest of cool breezes blowing) and a very succcessful outing with the kayaks (worth every single meager penny we spent on them). But the best thing of all, I no longer have to listen to D's continual lamenting that he'll never get to use his kayak.

PS. Super triple bonus: when we got home, our next door neighbour popped around with a birthday present for the D. A nice bottle of patron. I see some dancing in D's future......

The valium I took before surgery yesterday didn't really hit me until just after surgery. The D had to help me walk back to the car and I was CONCENTRATING VERY HARD ON ACTING SOBER which is always a sure sign that you are completely and absolutely stoned and or otherwise not sober.

I knew I was really really really stoned when I laid the seat back all the way in the car for the 45 minutes home and laughed for about twenty minutes. Laughed out of control type laughing. Why? Because the D had been singing "P-A-S-S-I-O-N, got me in the mood I'm in" (I have no idea why), and in my stoned state I was asking him why he was singing about fish in french, and what sort of mood french fish elicited. I thought I was very clever, and very very funny.

He did not.

I could....

go to work, as my eyes are fine. But I won't.

do mad spring cleaning, because now that I can see,....why didn't tell me my bathroom was so disgusting?

Instead I just might spend some quality time on my hammock, or have a cudle with the beasties, or just do SFA.

Quick Update

I can see! Well! I can see well.

It wasn't horrendously uncomfortable....only a few minutes of discomfort and some hazy vision for a couple days....and I can see!

Absolutely amazing.

Today is the BIG DAY!

Today is the day I get new eyeballs. I am so excited.

Newsday.com - City Should Exile Dogs

I'd rather be with dogs than people most of the time.

Jodi suggest a fantastic alternative place for dogs to relieve themselves, i.e. directly on this horrendous vile man.

I hit you with my shoe!

Marriage Math

CNN.com - Thirsty baboons attack girls in Kenya for water - Apr. 22, 2003

Current thing that I am totally hating:

The way Iraqi "bad guys" are being referred to by their playing cards. (No I don't want to discuss why the playing cards thing is just retarded). Headling on the news this morning was something like "Queen of Spades captured." WTF? It's all part of the revolting media packaging that has been going on through this "shock and awe" conflict.

This could possibly be the scariest fucking doll ever!

Am I the only one that had a love / hate relationship with her dolls? At night I'd shut them all up in my closet...terrified that they'd come alive and talk at night.

A doll that sees! and responds! eek.

The Aleph

HoustonChronicle.com - Rice prof scores points with educated view of Iraq war

Hands down, and without a doubt, Dr. Stoll was one of the most fantastic teachers I have ever had.

Select Comfort Beds & Mattresses

Yay! My old lady bed arrives today! My back rejoices.

I've become the most boring individual ever with my days filled with thoughs of a decent bed, and nice sheets....and orthapedic pillows.

Kill me.

shut up! i am working on the future

There are things the body knows that the heart wants to ignore.

Estas son Las Mananitas......

It's the D's birthday. We will be clebrating that and my recovered back heartily by hanging out and doing nothing special this afternoon.

I've already made him a goeey chocolate cake with chocolate cream cheese icing, and I've got a nice dinner plan up my sleeve.

He is truly "my old man" now....ha.

Strindberg Helium: At Home with the Kids

Thanks to both Giant Genius and

And, she's up!

Celebrate with me...I'm up and moving! Limited moving, but moving!

Riiiiighhhht.

Yeah so so me people injure their backs doing cool wild and crazy stuff.....others injure their backs doing some not so cool stuff.

Only a Rice alum could suffer a catastrophic back injury from taking a test.

That's right, six hours in auditorium desk seats has destroyed my lower back.

This morning it was a monumental task to get upright and out of bed, so monumental and painful in fact that I passed out.

Yay!

Ok, so here's the good news. I'm up, I'm moving .... thanks to thousands of milligrams of my chriopractor, ibuprofen and icepacks.

I'm terrified to go to sleep tonight.

I seriously can not handle another bout of pain like this morning, nor the humiliation of having to get the D to help me into/out of the shower, and to help sit down on the fucking toilet, and to get back up and to help me put my clothes on.

Ouch

I have injured my back somehow, which means I really can't sit up or stand or pretty much do anything without tears and flailing.

God damn it.

Ahem

Ok, so this weekend has totally worn me out. I'm too old to have such socially packed weekends. I'm too old for standardized testing.

So, I staggered into work...sore even, from my wild weekend. And there is a cute little fluffy eastery chick taped onto the top of one of my flatscreens.

I'm ecstatic. Some mysterious stranger has gifted me with a fluffly "pollito" with probably NO idea how much I adore little chicks.

The inner nature of this nihilistic terrorism is that everything is permissible, whether because God exists and I am his representative, or because God does not exist and I take his place.

U.S. State Department: Register For The Foreign Service Exam

This is what I'll be spending most of my day doing tomorrow. Just for fun more than anything. When I was doing my undergraduate degree, foreign service is actually where I wanted to go after I finished. I got the foreign part right (ie. moved to Australia), but not quite the way I imagined.

I always promised myself I'd take the exam "just to see" and so I am.

It's been nearly 7 years since I last took a standardized test and I wonder if I'll be able to stand sitting in a classroom with sniffly, SARSy people for hours and hours.

I'm very lucky and test very well. What this means is that it usually takes me about 20 or 30 minutes tops to finish a two hour multiple choice test...and then I sit there going crazy in the sniffly, pencil scratching silence.

I haven't prepared at all for the test, there is a study guid available...but I figure the best preparation is to read up on current evens and just go for it.

So, I'm spending the evening (so far) eating saag paneer and now sitting in my hammock with my laptop checking out what's new on the web....oh and dutifully studying by reading online newspapers.

Cramming isn't at all what it used to be!

Ok. I feel much better, thanks for asking.

By the way I got a wireless hub and card...I can now sit in my hammock on my back deck and be online. How absolutely hilariously unnecessary. I LOVE it. I feel all "go go gadget girl!" laying in my hammock, drinking iced tea, watching the clouds skip by, all the while "chatting" to my online peeps (you love that word so shut up).

Sometimes in life, you just have to say enough is enough.

I'm now at that point.

Just call me angel of the morning ANGEL
just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby.
Just call me angel of the morning ANGEL
then slowly turn away from me.


You know you wanted to read that. Join me in the fun that is that refrain repeating and repeating in your branes for the rest of the day.

To the driver that almost lost control of his vehicle while accelerating as quickly as possible to avoid allowing me to merge on to the Hardy Toll Road North entrance:

FUCK YOU AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CAR.

Your complete fucknuckle ways were apparent as I passed you not 5 minutes later on the toll road. I'm very glad that you endangered not only your life, but the life of all of those around us while you honked and waved your piggy hands about so that I didn't merge in front of you...and then drove like a complete tool on the tollway.

Squirm

Right, so I don't know if I should tell you this...but seeing as we are such close friends and all....sometime I INTENTIONALLY listen to Country Legends. In my car. And, it gets worse. Somehow I know most of the lyrics to almost every song they play.

Dictionaraoke

Dying. Laughing.

(Especially the version of "Born Slippy")

Right, cheers, thanks a lot.

Face Transplant

Eek.

Current yawn-able item:

Anything 'pundit'. Just stop it already.

Namaste.

With a life like this, who needs an update...

So I was going to regale you with my tragic, but wryly funny tales of domestic shenanigans from the weekend. But, I decided that despite all my attempts to make it such, the entire weekend remains a fiasco of not so funny and hours-long domestic chores. Yes, it was somewhat amusing that I lost my rag and yelled "FUUUUCK!" at the top of my lungs after 4 hours of sweat and tears to get a fucking fan up. Yes, it is somewhat amusing that I do not have full function of my arms today after the fan adventure (think, Cas holding a fan motor casing directly over her head for long arduous moments and Cas painting yet another coat of paint and glaze in the den).

But amusing enough to write about it here? Non.

A new word is born

'Teva. No, not the shoe brand. This is a contraction of the already shortened "wot eva". This new word brought to you by the D. Feel free to use willy-nilly.

(By the way, "The D" is not some cutesy pet name I have for him. I just can not be arsed typing out "Damien" every time I talk about him. Also, the Omen joke you are about to make? So done. Over done even.)

Playtarot -Playtarot Reader

Today I asked Megan the Witch if I would develop SARS and die or whether I would survive this raging killer virus.

The card that showed up for "present situation" was death.

So, perhaps I should prepare my goodbyes now.

(Um, an aside: So SARS may or may not be caused by some mutant form of the coronavirus, or possibly something related to chlamydia. D's scientific observation is that it was probably transmitted via chicken fuckers. That's right. Chicken fuckers. The chlamydia connection may make his theory more plausible than I first thought.)

Oh, so dated!

So the D and I are sitting together spending some quality tewb (australian style) time together during my lunch hour. I forced him to watch this tripe. This show is like walking through a halloween-esque spook house, you are a little terrified but mostly mortified that you are terrified. This is similar, you are mostly intrigued and simulatneously disgusted by what you are seeing, and a the same time totally mortified but unable to change the channel.

People. Now, I've been married for over a trillion years (ahem, six), so maybe I've forgotten what "dating" is like. Are people really this cheesy on first dates?

I swear to you right now. Never. I will never date ever again. Even if D is torn apart by wild beagles or suffers some tragic fate. Even if our flowers-and-flying-cherub-angles love affair grinds to a stand still. Even if the fates tear us asunder (or anything else for that matter).

I may deem it ok to go for coffee though. ;)

This is not a warblog post

CNN.com - Iraqi official: U.S. lying about progress - Apr. 2, 2003

Quote: "The minister also said that coalition forces were throwing booby traps in the form of pens and pencils into Iraqi villages and townships."

Does this not sound like something out of a monty python sketch? Beware the killer pencils and pens!

A question for all you lawyers/wannabe lawyers/lawyers that don't wannabe lawyers...

If Dolce & Gabbana perfume is so treacherous and horrendous as to give me an insanely bad headache and nausea for days after I have scrubbed every centimeter of my body to get that stench off, does this not sound like some sort of chemical poisoning? (An Aside: Um, do you think the coalition forces have thought of that? Dolce & Gabbana perfume = weapon of mass destruction.) Where was I? Oh yes, ok, so if I was chemically poisoned by a product masquerading as perfume, can I sue for mental anguish and distress?

Music Recommendations:
1. Paul Kelly (Especially "Everything's Turning to White" and "How to Make Gravy")
2. The Whitlams (everything you can find, but especially "No Aphrodisiac," "Melbourne," "You Sound Like Louis Burdett" and anything off Torch the Moon)
3. Alex Lloyd (especially "Sleep," "Amazing" and his cover of "Flame Trees")
4. Hem
5. Crowded House (allow me my nostalgia damn it)
6. Powderfinger

HoustonChronicle.com - Spanglish is linguistic equivalent of Tex-Mex

The evolution of language is so interesting. My favourite is "watchate!"

This is scarily similar to "Papi Jack's" (my grandmother's sixth husband, who was israeli, who was also a scary lecher) weird dialect. Which was a weird attempt at spanish which was just the additon of certain letters or endings to the words of his broken english and a spanish word here or there. Por ejemplo: Asking the maids to making him scrambled eggs: "Scramblear los eggos porfavor."

Current things I'm thinking:

1. The lyrics to "If I Only Had a Brain" are really quite sad and poignant.
2. I have NOT had a traumatic life. It is so refreshing after hearing everyone else's going on and on about how bad they'vd had it.
3. I like knowing funny people. And, I don't mean "know" in the biblical sense, though I'll take applications on that too.
4. If you are going back to your highschool reunion with the sole purpose of "showing those people how cool I really am" you REALLY REALLY need to let it go.
5. I've been wearing glasses for all of 5 days. I am already totally annoyed.
6. The thing about the upcoming laser eye extravaganza that weirds me out the most? Being pinned by the eye. If you know me at all you'll know that I have an irrational fear of being "trapped" or pinned down/held down in any way. The though of my eyeball being suctioned still freaks the holyshmoly out of me. In fact, I need to stop talking about this RIGHT NOW.
7. If I keep writing this list I can actually avoid thinking about what I need to be thinking about, namely: boring work stuff.

March - 100 Words