How I Know I'm Old

My baby sister graduates from high school tomorrow. HIGH SCHOOL people!

I remember when I graduated from high school, and there she was...all six years of her in her blonde pigtails. I remember thinking, when I attend her high school graduation I will be all grown up with my life sorted.

What happened? She's now a cute and tiny blonde dynamo, and I'm just plain old.

99% Certainty

A no-where near exhaustive list of things that I will agree to (with 99% certainty):

1. Chocolate Mousse in the breakroom just when I think I'm going to die from a sugar craving.
2. Cornbread stuffing, and nothing more, for dinner
3. Sunshine and a breeze
4. Hammocks
5. Frito paws
6. Adventurettes in the barrio
7. Seeing my tiny little grandparents and bringing them individually packaged dinners made with love by moi.
8. Ceviche
9. Spicy tuna hand rolls
10. Private jokes that just don't need to be explained
11. People watching in the office and very smart people that can make very smart jokes
12. Derogatory nicknames that only D and I understand
13. Cheesy barley bake
14. "Kayaking" with Ruby

Decaf mango iced tea cures a host of ills. 

It's a tough life around these parts.... 

Meanwhile,....

In the background...  somehow the days roll on.

And, you feel better.

And, the burden lifts a bit.

And, your husband pours you some wine. And, your dogs still enjoy their walks. And, your garden is growing (is that a teeny bean and teeny tomato I've spotted?). And, your grandmother is still going to die...but not today. And, you pick yourself up a bit and focus forward and beyond the current obstacles.

Turtle Saving Not Withstanding

Have I told you that it has been a very crummy day? Even Ollie agrees. He is sighing dramatically for the both of us. 

I haven't been so much crying as seeping all day. That horrible quiet sort of weepy seep when it is least convenient. Not so much weeping as eye leaking and non-stifleable (is that a word) sniffly nose. It is annoying and has left me with a cracker of a headache. Frustration about a financial stressor combined with news of my grandmother's (mild) heart attack have conspired to really just bum me out. Not to mention the bit of disappointment I harbor that I won't be going to Mexico in a few weeks as originally planned. It has been a year since my dad died, and I feel a need to just go home and think and see the crazy mexican contingency of the family. Oh, and add to that general work stress. My workload has recently increased significantly, and although I'm glad for interesting work...I'm really just worn out at the end of every day.

Sometimes, life can seem unbearably hard, even if it is only a temporary illusion.

I know, I know...not every day can be a great day...but it doesn't stop bad days from being bad and awful in a shocking and never-expected sort of way.

More Turtle News

Yes, I'm guilty. I stopped on the way to work today to rescue a turtle from the middle of the road. No, don't worry, I didn't wave down traffic to do it. He managed to survive a couple close calls while I watched, and when there was a good break in the cars I dashed into the road and grabbed him and deposited him safely on the other side.

I'm a sucker like that. I couldn't have stood it if I'd seen his little smashed corpse on the way to work tomorrow, and I hadn't tried to help.

Does anyone else find this totally stupid?

CNN.com - Mouth device helps dieters take small bites - May 19, 2004

Look people, just take smaller bites. Seriously. If that's what you think will do it for you to lose weight.

The thing is, controlling your weight/what you eat is not easy. Not when you've got years of bad habits to overcome. There is no easy way out. Start being honest with yourself, and be compassionate when you fail to make good decisions, but do some serious goal setting to try to overcome those lapses.

I, just as much as anyone else, wish there was an easier way to erase years of poor eating/exercise choices... but there isn't. You just have to stop. Stop eating junk. Get up and move! Make better choices.

And that money that you would have spent on what basically is a muzzle of sorts? Spend it on the gym. Or donate it to a good cause. Or put it away in a "reward for myself" slush fund.

Interesting

bookmarked for my benefit.

My favourite musical of all times v. moronic audience members.

I have loved 42nd street since I was wee. I remember visiting from Mexico, and it being one of the few (beta) vcr tapes that I had watched maniacally on my grandmother's fancy tv/vcr combo. Even though I couldn't understand the language, I loved it so much I could sing along in pidgin english.

I was so excited to be able to go see this stage production of the musical this past weekend. I even got a new outfit and got all dolled up! And, the show didn't disappoint, but the audience sure did.

The musical itself was cute and corny, and full of infectious music. And, just as when I was little, I had a strange compulsion to madly start tap dancing just by watching.

But, the audience. No manners. Seriously. What is wrong with people.

Firstly, when we arrived some other people were in our seat (in the center of an aisle)....they shuffled and claimed they had tickets, couldn't find them etc...stalled long enough that we finally sat off to the side in frustration in some empty seats and the usher promised to fix it at intermission. It was ok, but, if you pay for premium seats, you'd like to be able to sit in them.

At intermission, we moved to our rightful seats, and the old cows that had been previously sitting there glared at us and glowered and harrumphed and made a big show of moving over and sitting in the seats directly next to them. Which of course was a problem when the owners of those seats returned from intermission. Finally they produced their tickets and acted all shocked when they "realized" they were in the wrong row! But, never once an apology for "stealing" our seats for the first act.

Secondly, what is with the shuffling and talking and personal conversations and play by play commentary during the show? Seriously. SHUT UP!

Thirdly, yes, it is a comedic musical. The jokes are corny and cute, and I agree with a quiet chuckle...but guffawing like a hyena? Come on, control yourself.

Fourthly, all performers appreciate applause...but not during the flow of the musical itself. You don't have to clap every time one of them taps their feet.

Finally, like I said, all performers love the appreciation/applause... but am I the only one that finds the obligatory standing ovation annoying? Especially when the audience gets up before the show is even over? At the end of the show they have one last number, where the chorus is highlighted and bows, then the leads.... well the entire audience jumped up...so we had to get up to see the number. Then everyone realized they were still dancing so sat back down... only to jump up maniacally again when the cast took a bow. It interrupted the final number and annoyed a good number of the audience that was enjoying the show.

Anyways, the show was great...I loved it loved it loved it. It made me giddy happy and even now I feel the compulsion to shuffle-ball change my way down the corridor....

but, man, the audience.....

Party like it's 1992!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoo!

1992 is the year I graduated from high school, and the year I was 18. I don't miss it, not even a tiny bitty bit. Ok, maybe I miss how tiny bitty I was with no effort, but I don't necessarily miss the age and all the ridiculousness that comes with it.

Yesterday I had flashbacks.

My older sister, younger sister and I went to a show (42nd Street! I confess, my favourite musical!), to dinner, and then "out on the town." Which led my older sister and I to contemplate a tactical issue we hadn't had to face for over ten years (ahem, at least)....what to do to go "out" when you are underage. And ridiculously cute! And you want to dance!

So, my friends and foes, I found myself at an 18 and up club. My sisters and I. My older sister and I thought we'd be like grannies at a tea, but that, whatever, we'd endure thumping bass and raging hormones for little sister's benefits. Firstly, cover charge? God. I'd forgotten... if I'm going to go out now a days I go for a quiet sort of pub with an outdoor area (I'm hideously intolerant of cigarette smoke, it makes me physically ill) and no cover. Secondly, the girls standing on podiums and serving beers were randomly wearing nothing but a thong and a skimpy top. The fuh? Finally, older sister and I were by far NOT the oldest souls there...and there were party of older people there....on purpose. One was proudly celebrating her 40th and grinding it on the dance floor. Honestly.

Oh god, the seething mass of hormones dancing to mindnumbing songs that are cool with kids these days. The boys, smelling of copious amounts of cheap cologne, copping cheap feels of half-cut girls....who are standing on whatever elevated area they can find and simulating energetic sex with poles/rails/themselves/each other. It was one rocking party place!

Yeah! So that was my night! I partied like it was 1992 again, except for the part where I'm "partying" and came home and had my cup of milky tea and felt old and crotchety.

PS. On the drive home little sister said "that club was pretty lame." Ah, fantasies of what it is to "PAAAAAAAAAA-RRRRTY!" shattered already......

Stalking the Bogeyman,Coming to grips with the killer ...

Westword | westword.com | News | Feature | Stalking the Bogeyman,Coming to grips with the killer ...

Incredibly compelling, and thought provoking.

How would you have handled it?

Cooter Box Turtle!

TCPalm: Turtle flies into van windshield on I-95

Cooter Box Turtle! Ha!

But, hoorah that the poor thing survived!

Sunbathing is just sooooo hard!

NEWS.com.au | Bikini turns its back on the strap (May 14, 2004)

"I felt that sunbathing could be a real chore and that I was always working hard to eliminate the strap marks and lines from the day before.

Back That Thing Up!

A little thing that irks me:

People that work in my office building are totally fascinated and insistent on backing into parking spaces. The garage is tight to drive in as it is (you know, having to weave around these urban cowboys big arse trucks), and then you have to somehow anticipate and accommodate the backing into parking spots.

Let me just say, I work and live in the suburbs. The parking here is not only free, but pretty plentiful. But, people are funny about parking. Apparently it is better to park on the bottom floors, and as close as possible to the stairs/elevator. (People actually take the elevator down 1 floor.)

So they drive their humongous extra-long bed, dual-backwheeled, crew cab trucks (polished super shiny, and never seen a day of work in their life trucks) to their cubicle jobs...and then jockey for the BEST parking spot...and then insist on backing into it.

No, there's no point. I just wanted to share.

If You Buy This Record, Your Life Will Be Better

"I was working all the time, I didn't even take a rest
My life was complicated, just a mess
Mow everyday's a holiday and all I do is dance
Oh, I got a body in my pants, oh oh oh ..."

This little ditty never fails to make me smile...

NEWS.com.au | Prosecutor clips nails during trial (May 10, 2004)

If only the countless men that clip their nails, pick their teeth, adjust themselves during meetings I attend would be reprimanded......

For the record, I, currently, hate everyone and everything. Except D. Especially except D, because he's spent the last few days installing a new microwave/range hood thingie that has caused him no small amount of bloodloss (metal pipe stuff for venting), and because he's actually completed it.

Maybe this summer we can cook (food) in the kitchen without cooking (ourselves).

Other than that?

Loathe.

I want this so why can't I have it? Huh? Huh? I think it should just be given to me, installed in my stainless steel and glass bathroom in my super trendy modern and contemporary flat in a nameless but totally urban and smart city.

PS. I love zappos! Yes I do! I've never ordered shoes online before and took the big plunge yesterday after not finding what I was after at the shops for any reasonable prices. Zappos had a couple pairs I liked, so I ordered yesterday with their free standard shipping. D says they were just delivered! Yay! New shoes! I'm so excited!

Lately, as you can see, I'm all about shoes.

They don't, but these do....