Friday, August 30, 2002

Theme Decor - Barnard, Ltd. - Theme Decorations for Holidays, Parties, Display

Don't ask, but somehow I got to searching for fake food. Sausages in particular.

I'm absolutely fascinated by fake food.

Tell me why (besides the price) should I not buy all sorts of freaky fake food....

Hypothetical question of the day:

If you found yourself in possession of a turkey fryer...what would you fry (besides a turkey, duh!)?

Pull my finger!
Link from
B3ta. I adore B3TA!

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Welcome to MarkMaynard's World

If you don't read Mark already, you should start.

HoustonChronicle.com - Texans cheerleaders take their role seriously

Like, yeah, or something.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

"Christians from Cut-n-Shoot"

That in itself makes it a worthwhile links. Looks like the rednecks are out in full force.....

Airlines slap big fees on large luggage

Um, why was she "devestated"? I've always checked size limitations on my bags when travelling and just follow posted guidelines. It's called following the same rules everyone else should. It's not that freaking hard.

This is one of my pet peeves. Getting on my plane with my small and convenient carry on bag or my laptop...only to have to shove it under the seat in front of me because people like Gerry Zinna carry on at least three oversize carryons and hog the overhead bins.

I'm glad they are being charged for this. Perhaps next time she'll make sure she falls within the guidelines.

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Brothel duty for Australian MP

Once again, Perth in the news for its brothels....

Monday, August 26, 2002

Look what I found whilst looking for chaise lounges....

Dude.

I want.

NEWS.com.au | Entertainment | Farnham ticket fever (August 27, 2002)

I take it you will definately be there ms. thalia?

government-induced vomiting

Those kooky thais....

Friday, August 23, 2002

An Ollie update for those keeping score at home:

He's through the worst part of his heartworm treatment (or so we hope). He's no longer coughing up blood and looking like he might pass out. No, instead he's become a complete food maniac because of the steroids. He's like a dog possessed.

Also, he's peeing like a horse. Sorry, I know that is totally gross, but we are astounded by the sheer volume and frequency.

Hey, don't blame me, you wanted to know.

Also, Gracie update:

We've got a couple of families interested in her. I'm hoping and hoping that my co-worker's family will work out as they would be a fantastic home and I'd be able to keep up with her somewhat. She's settled way down and is just too sweet. We have to get her out of the house before we're totally in love. We've both been really good about including her but trying not to get too attached. But she just LOVES YOU! FIERCELY! She damn cute.

Bess and the Rubes update:

Bess has stopped drooling and is tolerating Gracie's existence....Ruby has only three squirrel sightings to report so far today.


House update:

I've been informed that it will be a busy weekend of projects and cleaning and arranging. Our goal is to have everything unpacked and organised. Also, we're laying down the new vinyl tiles in the second bathroom. Oh, and apparently we are going to take our couch apart and figure out how to recover it a la trading spaces.

FloralCraft

Not much at this link. Just wanted to say, don't you wish you had friends that sent you beautiful trinkets from abroad...just because?

Val you are the bestest!

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Jabberwocky

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

HoustonChronicle.com - Former Enron executive to plead guilty and pay $12 million

Ah, I weep (weep weep)....the small fry...the fall guys.

The Whitlams - Torch the Moon

Who wants to buy me this and send it across the waves?

The Nando Times: White farmers ordered to leave their land in Zimbabwe

Incredible.

Not even a whisper of this on our front page.

Beauty in the eye of the beer holder

Ah, beer goggles.

I have not stopped slaving for days. Between dog mayhem, house projects mayhem, heat induced mayhem and social neighbours....well, I'm just plain pooped.

News of note: we ripped the fungus inducing carpet up in the second bathroom....we both feel cleaner already. I stained two side tables for the "family" room, on purpose.

We love having a house. It's freaking me out. I'm so domestic I'm scaring myself.

We've completely lost our sense of reality with the addition of Gracie the short - term (hopefully) foster. She's a lovely puppy and would love a family of her own.

Ollie is at the worst stage of his heartworm treatment...all those nasty worms are dying and moving to his lungs which makes him cough and gag...which just grosses all of us out.

We are spending way too much time and money at Lowe's.....I see that they just announced record earnings. I'd like to think we contributed to that...merry christmas stockholders.

GRACIE!!!!!!!

I know. We said no more fosters....but just this once.

Does anyone need a puppy to love?

It is absolute mayhem in our house with four dogs....hopefully Gracie's family is out there looking for her.

Like a virgin (sort of): Brides reclaim chastity

Please.

Abstaining with your live-in fiancee......

Friday, August 16, 2002

markmaynard.com

fuck he's funny.

Click Clacks / Clackers / Kerbangers - Yesterdayland Toys

Laugh? I nearly cried.

Clacker.

Nice stuff.

Offered with no comment.

NEWS.com.au | Fossil geese as tall as giraffes (August 16, 2002)

Terrifying for someone who is not a big fan of birds.

HoustonChronicle.com - Small town's minister charged in wife's killing

Nice one. Is it any wonder that people are skeptical of religion?

HoustonChronicle.com - Dynegy procures a lifeline by settling suit with Enron

Oh, this is too funny....talk about a pissing contest....

Thursday, August 15, 2002

In case you didn't know....sometimes I hold very little hope for humanity in general.

Why must the masses be such absolute arsepipes?

Madame Bovary

One of the most difficult, but best reads ever.

It delivers its more eloquently than my usual flip comments to and about people that refuse to stop living in their own narcissisitic fantasies.

HoustonChronicle.com - SEC staffers believe Dynegy possibly violated securities laws

Now there's a shocker.

I had to sit down after reading the headline.

Ha ha you twats! Now I'm glad you ignored my resume.

Right.....(think office space people).

4:30 am.

That's what time I was up...thanks to the roo-beast. She woke me up in her frantic "go get help lassie" way. I tried to convince her that she could not hear thunder....patted her on the head...and that's when I felt them.....the lumps. Oh dear god the lumps. They are back. Farking ticks.

So I was up shoving benadryl down her throat and combing through her hairs for the farquar at 4:30 freaking ay-em.

Yeah, good morning to you too.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

Elvis reportedly OK'd wedding in seance

Rightie-oh...

Oh yeah, also -

A minor observation:

Between Quorn and Fetid Meat Products (FMP)....we haven't got much hope for anything other than soilent green in this world.

I wonder if a girl could live on beer and cheese alone (shhh....I know, listeria, stop trying to ruin it for me.)

2 Things I'm not loving lately:
1. The fact that I keep getting spam from adult clubs giving me a membership name and password.
2. The fact that "my daughter's vagina" or "flea bitten vagina" seem to be popular search strings for this site.

Dog Refuses to Abandon Murdered Farmer

Interesting article on Ethnic Cleansing

New Model

I want.

No, I don't even know seven people I'd want to ride with...but I want for it's sheer freakiness.

People.com | News Article | Leonardo DiCaprio Is Seeing Green

I would like to know what Mr. DiCaprio is doing, personally, to combat environmental pollution.

For example, does he walk or ride a bike everywhere? What about refusing to buy anything plastic (including the tops that keep starbucks coffee warm....)?

Lapse in the food chain

mmmm....yummmmmmmm

USATODAY.com - Part I: Terror attacks brought drastic decision: Clear the skies

chilling.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Da Goodlands!

I'm so suburban.

Monday, August 12, 2002

Chip brings dog home -- after 6 years

Our dogs are chipped (well, Ollie will soon be)...but here's the sad part.... animal control here doesn't even bother to scan animals.

Criminal.

Just say "NO!" to marrow bones!

Ok, superfluous !!! aside - Hi! I'm back!

I've been busy entertaining and houseguesting. It was fun, and, as always, a fattening experience. But, really, when someone comes from the other side of the world you are OBLIGATED to take them to as many meals out as possible.....and here in Texas, that can mean only one thing: deep fried fatty goodness. MMMM.

Now then, you've missed me...but not as much as you've missed stories about the dogs. Admit it.

Right then, let's get to it...this story not only includes the dogs (one of my favourite topics), but also contains spew, shit and admissions of mind-numbing suburbaness(you've been warned).

So, saturday I innocently ask the meat dept at our local grocery store if they have any beef shank bones that they can trim for a treat for the pooches. It has been a long long time since they'v ehad a back yard in which to gnaw some bones. Joy of joys, they did indeed have some...but, inexplicably, were unable to cut them long ways....would only cut them in two across the middle. So, I gave each a bone sawn in half. They were joyous. Hours of chewing in the sun. Laying on their backs in the grass like gigantic hippos sunning themselves.

D and I spent all Saturday night in our front yard driking beers with our neighbours. I swear people. I live in some weird utopian type of place where kids still play in the street and neighbours still talk to each other. It was super fun. It was also near on midnight when we decided to call it a night and realized that the dogs needed their nightly stroll. (Ollie refuses to shit in his own backyard on most occassions and we must take him out to commune with the wilderness and to help fertilize the woods.)

So, we went for a walk through the woods on the bike paths in the pitch black. It was great! We could barely see in front of us, and since we'd been drinking neither of us had the bright idea to bring a flashlight. It was an adventure and kind of fun.

I guess the dark had a lot to with the reason we didn't notice that the marrow bones had not been such a great idea after all.

Here's where I'll spare you the details....just know this: there has been almost continual spewing and shitting since Saturday. Only one "incident" inside, but once is more than enough.

Obviously, it is entirely my fault.

In other dog news, Ollie is at the vet getting dewormified (heartworm treatment).....yikes. We have been dreading it, as he has to stay in hospital at least over night and will be on restricted activity for quite a few weeks afterwards. I'm just trying to visualise all those worms clogging up his poor little heart dying and going away. That will make him feel lots better.

Other than houseguests, neighbours, and dog-ventures....we are in the throes of "first house" -itis, which if you don't know involves a lot walking around at home improvement stores and arguing over the finer points of different brands of fertilizer/caulk/deck stain and pondering trillions of paint chips etc.

Oh, and on a house and neighbour related note...Saturday was enlightening.....got a lot of good gossip on the woman who previously owned our house (ie. we aren't the only ones to think of her as a cow) and some other tidbits on various and sundry neighbours (ie. scandal, recovering alcholics, anti-socials, and just some plain ol' cattiness).

toodles.
So

Health group rips meat substitute

Friday, August 09, 2002

Players could be facing final check
Um. Please.

Sympathy for cash flow issues? None.

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

Hi!

Gosh, I haven't been my usual loquacious self have I?

Well, I've been pretty busy what with the moving and unpacking and houseguesting and currently panicking about my AC not workign one week before it is covered by home warranty.

Fun times.

I just popped on to share this little factlet: I'm obssessed with green beans at the moment. Canned, mind you. I don't know. Neither can it be explained, nor understood. All I can do is comply with the demands of my obsession and eat them straight from the can with a dash of lime for panache.

(Don't worry, even I revolt me sometimes.)

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

AMEN!

Monday, August 05, 2002

Chi-wa-wa Ga-ga: Shopping

A shop I visited in New Orleans. So many ways to torture! Tiny sunglasses and mardi gras masks. Tiny yarmulkes and cowboy hats!!!!!