Current list of annoyances:
1. My asshole back
2. Anyone that calls themselves a pundit (still)
3. Mac vs PC diatribes (who cares)
4. "Hipsters" that blog/talk about how retro-cool it is to slum like middle americans (shut up! you are as bourgeoisie as the rest of us, we just don't pretend not to be)
5. Macro shots of flower or leaves


(This is by no means meant to be exhaustive....)

Dougall would like to know if anyone needs a Dougall to love on? Now that he's feeling better, he's ready for his real family to come claim him....

Bess would like you to know that she is cold (and very tiny).

Oh, for the Australian contingency:

We stayed up last night to watch the grandfinal. Or, rather, I sort of zoned out on the pull out bed of the couch and D promised to wake me if the half time entertainment was worthwhile. I did managed to remain focused long enough to be absolutely embarassed by pregame entertainment. Queen best embodies the tradition of footy? They were kidding right? D left the room and said we will never speak of it again. Not only that, who was the woman singing "Another One Bites the Dust", what was the fishscale thingy she was wearing, and why did she keep trying to shake her bosoms?

Ok, here's what we were wondering....was there a halftime show? D swears he thinks he was awake, but that there was no show? Or did they just not broadcast it? We were hoping for a repeat of The Whitlams last year.

Also, I haven't followed this season closely, but were the Lions really that good? Or did the 'pies have an off night? What little I saw seemed pretty mismatched.

Also, I obviously have an inner Kevin that I actually have never publically acknowledged...but for the record....GO THE BOMBERS!

Not only did he schedule an MRI, but he hooked me up with some big guns (ie. vicodin and some other tranquilizer). The good news is I can move without passing out.

Now then, as for the MRI, they better find something wrong with my back. I almost died when I paid the bill. $480. Jesus christ dancing! I asked if insurance covered any of it...the reseptionist informed me that the $480 was my 20% portion of the fee!

So, I'm not only trying to recover from the back pain, but from the sticker shock. All around, this experienced has sucked total weenus.

Just one more reason why I love my grandpa:
He was able to call in favours to get me an MRI appointment today for my back (which by the way, after one day of mobility, is being a complete bitch).

Amazon.com: Books: Red Dog

Read this. Soon. And hug your dog.

Yahoo! News - Dog's 12-Inch Ears Are World's Largest

Yes we measured...and Dougall's are "only" 9 inches long.

The present is never our goal: the past and present are our means: the future alone is our goal. Thus, we never live but we hope to live; and always hoping to be happy, it is inevitable that we will never be so.
-- Blaise Pascal

Apparently I have a deranged disc in my lower back and that is why, once again, I'm unable to move at the moment.

SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS UNIT | LCA - Last Chance for Animals

More on the Arkansas bust. Just a warning, do not view the video unless you are prepared for horrible abuse. I encourage everyone that can to donate or foster. For any of you in the area that has lost a dog, make sure to see that your baby isn't in this group. This man is known to have bought dogs from "bunchers" who freely admit that they stole/picked up strays to sell to this asshole. (See the article: Where'd the dogs go? 15-year probe has answer)

I hope he burns for his actions.

Dougall Update

Come on, you know you are only here for an update on Doodle, er, I mean Dougall.

Dougall is now standing upright on his back feet and can open and close his mouth with minimal pain. Hoorah. It means less drooling and, therefore, less ear crusting (his drool would collect on his ears...which was not a good look for him.)

He also likes to gallop around the backyard, and generally fling himself around in a puppy like fashion. His skin is about two sizes too big for him and his general floppiness is so appealling.

He eats like a horse, and will probably grow to the size of one.

He is just the best puppy.

Now then, anyone out there interested in adopting a Dougall? His ears hang low and they wobble to and fro!

Top moment of the day:

(No, it wasn't during Sam's and my visit to the old folk's home, though that was nice).

D imitating the walk of one of the Miss America contestants during the bathing suit competition, all the while saying things like "HELLOOOOOOO!!!! AMERICA!!!!!! I have a bung hip and this tape on my boobs is killing me! I'm dead sexy!." I laughed so hard I thought I would hyperventilate.

Seized Dogs at an Arkansas Facililty

Hey all you guys out there buying a cute beagle puppy from a pet store....look at where they come from. These are the "lucky" ones as they've been sprung. The will be even luckier if they can be all taken in to rescue (mind you, there is currently 7 dogs in the houston area shelters for which there is no room in rescue for).

azcentral.com | Day of the Dead

Some of you know my love of dia de los muertos!

Dougall album

Ah...all dougall all the time.

All other dogs are happily passed out on the couches. We cooked their chicken tonight, and fresh chicken night is always a big hit. I think they get high on the smell of it cooking and then sit around stoned the rest of the night.

Here's Dougall on his first night with us.

Miss America’s queer eye makeover

You are kidding! Gay men are involved in Miss America? This is a shocking news story indeed! Who would have known? I just thought all those pageant girls were born with the big pageant hair/duct taped boobies gene!

All you gorgeous gay men out there: this is your moment! You are officially the new black!

HYPERTROPHIC OSTEODYSTROPHY (HOD)

Here's what we think the pup is dealing with.

A quick update for everyone: despite our trying to take a break from fostering we have a very pathetic foster at the moment. We think he may be of the breed I posted previously. He is HORRIBLE shape. He looks like a prison camp survivor. But, hopefully we can get him back up and on his feet in no time. Speaking of his feet...he's got a very painful problem with them at the moment...and I think this may be what's going on with him.

You know, I may be a crazy dog lady, but for the life of me I can't comprehend how people can be so cruel to animals. He is in such bad shape that I was in tears last night, and the sight of him actually made me sick to my stomach. Poor babe. People ask me how I can foster, and I look at dogs like this boy (name still to be decided on) and ask how it is they don't.

PS. His name is officially Dougall.

Grand Gascon Saintongeois

For those that know why I'm posting this...what do you think? I'm thinking this might be him!

The book was beautiful, Coupland's stories alway are. For a few sad moments in the middle I thought he'd lost his touch...but I was totally fooled.

I loved it.

SHOCK! AND AWE!

(Just because you've missed hearing it on CNN.)

I should tell you, my favourite indulgence is shopping at the library. I love to stroll up and down the shelves and pick books randomly. I take home armfuls of books every couple weeks. Nevermind I only read one or two. And, generally, these are read in one long marathon session. When the cost of shopping at the library is free, why waste your time reading books you don't love? I have no scientific method of picking books off the shelf. I pick books with good titles. I pick books with author's names that appeal to me. I rarely even read the inside leaf. I give a book 5 pages, and if I'm not hooked... I put it down.

Today I happened to spy Douglas Coupland's latest "Hey Nostradamus!" He's always a safe bet. So far (first sentence read at a stop light only), I think it will be a winner.

Random (but enforced) Language Rules in my World

1. Unacceptable: Furmiliar
Acceptable: Familiar

2. Unacceptable: woot!
Acceptable: yay!

3. Unacceptable: m'kay
Acceptable: ok

4. Unacceptable: 'Loose' when you mean 'lose'
Acceptable: lose

5. Unacceptable: vagie, pee pee, bot-bot or any other infantile derivative for boddy parts
Acceptable: grown up voice words like: vagina, penis, ass, etc.

5. Unacceptable: 'asshat'
Acceptable: 'fuckknuckle' 'asshole' 'fucknoodle' 'dickbag' etc. (just NOT asshat)

I'm still alive. My back has not rotted away yet. How do I know? Well, I had to paint the fucking bathroom alone didn't I? I don't know about you, but I'm well sick of D's "no painting" rule. I mean, it's been a year since the kitchen fiasco. It's time for him to move on and stop making me do these menial home improvement tasks that he should be doing so I don't have to.

There are two houses for sale on our street.

Please god, let at least one minority family move into one....or even better some fabulous gay men. I'm tired of the whiteness of this neighborhood.

So, I woke up this morning with a big red welt on my back. Spider bite. I'm thinking brown recluse. If you don't hear from me, you'll know why.

PS. Carson is going to his new family tonight.

Here's Carson!

The pictures are flattering...behind that cute cute face is a sausage bod.

Scenes from this morning...

So the D was going to drive me to work today so he could get himself to the shops to get the mop that was his hair trimmed and under control. Finally. (He sheepishly admitted he had a "fringe" this morning). Right. So. I was already annoyed because he was giving me his boring ass opinion on some jibber-jabber by some generic senator types on CNN with regards to 87 billion dollars for Iraq blah blah blah blah. And, I was already late. And, he was still fannying about pontificating about american politics.

When we finally got in the car it was with glee that I noted that we were leaving at the prime moment where there would be the most kids congregated at the end of our street waiting for a bus. Lucky us! Our street is the designated school bus stop. There have been a couple morning when I had to lay on the horn to get the kids to clear the street so I could drive through. Seriously, they are dumber than sheep...standing there staring at my car dumbly as I slowly drove towards them and stopped in anticipation of them moving out of the way. (At that time I considered running the lot down and helping Darwin on his way.) I was looking forward to the joy of watching D lose it with the completely thick kids that seem to spring from the loins of this suburban wasteland.

Alas, it was not to be. As we started to back down the drive we heard an ominous "thump thump thump." I got out to check on the source of the noise. It was the completely flat back right tire. Suckage. The car is about three weeks old and already with a flat.

The fact that we had a full size spare and I had the D there to do the dirty work of replacing the tire did little to assuage a creeping feeling of "sucky day" coming on.

eBay item 2345744435 (Ends Sep-13-03 08:43:26 PDT) - Stripper Pole Portable with Stage BRAND NEW

Now I know what I'm buying EVERYONE for xmas....a portable stripper stage!

from russia with love

!!!!

I love.

Carson Updates:

1. He is currently being referred to as "fatty fatty fat fat" or "great big chunk o' lard." He doesn't seem to mind and will still wiggle his whole body in loving response to any attention given to him.

2. If he turns over on his back for a belly scratch...he can't get himself back around. Much like a turtle on its back, Carson lays with legs flailing and snorting trying to get his roly poly body back right side up.

3. He can get up on the couch for a cuddle, but getting down is perilous. Last night he attempted it and basically ended up in starfish position (ie. flattened out with legs out).

4. D says that Carson was not enamoured of his first mornigng walk. You could tell he was quite sore and sorry for himself.

It is hard work getting back into shape!

Fatness as a theme in our house:

1. With my share of the footy winnings I bought the only logical thing I could think of: a deep fryer. Fresh fried corn chips, you are my true love.

2. We had a friend visit us this Friday, flying through from Melbourne to a conference in Orlando. We tried to cram is as much Houston as we could into one day. As a result, I ate three more or less completely full fat meals in one day. (Biscuits with sausage gravy for brekkie, gumbo and half a shrimp po-boy for lunch, and fajitas for dinner...see I tried to moderate it a bit...at least I didn't have the cheese enchiladas for dinner like I wanted...) I'm still fasting to recover from that. His comment was that he may have eaten more cheese in one day than he has in his entire life. And fried.

3. I couldn't stand it, and it was truly an emergency...and so we have a foster dog at the moment. We've named him Carson. He's about a year and a half old....and he's obese. It's not cute. It's sad. Don't get me wrong....he's absolutely adorable...but he is so grossly overweight it makes me sad. He waddles when he walks. His fat undulates in waves when he moves. The D took him for a ten minute walk this morning (hours ago) and he's still recovering. Poor baby boy. So he's on strict rations and an exercise schedule. It is quite sad....he often walks around with an empty food bowl in his mouth looking quite forlorn and confused.

Magpies are scary!

There used to be one that lived to attack the D and I when we would rollerblade along city beach. I always made him go first and run interference for me. He never got it in the eye...but had his ear pecked a time or two.

The D won AUD250 in a footy tipping competition!

Hurrah!

And he's split the winnings with me because he's lovely like that.

Hurrah!

I'm rich!

How's the AUD trading?