Shut Up!
Look, auditors are just human.... they are allowed to make some mistakes, right?

Speaking of tampons....

(link swiped from the "evil" magazine....you know the one, the one linked below)

Ok, right, you got me, we weren't talking about tampons...we were talking about jesus tortillas. Right, anyways, like I was saying...TAMPONS.

Did you know, and I'm not making this up, I have only found ONE (ONE!) tampon available in the US that does not have an "applicator." (I can't find a link to the product itself, OB tampons, but here is a page that explains the origin of its name.) Yeah, an applicator, because using your own finger would be just so....dirty and wrong.....

Isn't it ironic that American women are so squeamish about putting their finger in "there," yet are some of the most conspicuous about displaying their sexuality....it's in every "women's" show/magazine/paper/topic of conversation.

Ugh. What is wrong with people?

Bonus "too much info": Monterrey is where I was born. Imagine if things had been different between my parents... I might have been Mexican Deliah.... and I might have thought walking around with some horrendous diaper like contraption wedged in my crotch was a viable option every month.

Ack! Is it a sign of Jesus' displeasure that the post below is so screwed up I can't even edit it?

Obviously, this is an act of complete defiance....follow the link below at your own risk.

Stay Free! home page

It's a bit left sometimes, but interestingly so.

Is it a miracle that my search for the Jesus Tortilla led me to find the link to this

The other morning (during our shared period of flu-ness) D and I were flipping through the channels on TV, and he paused long enough on "Despierta America" (the hispanic/latin/spanish version of Good Morning America) to watch short segment on this "miracle".

He thought it was pretty funny.

Little does he know how often Jesus appears. Tortillas seem to be a favourite venue...

It got me to thinking...

Ok, so the image of a bearded downtrodden man appears in a tree/tortilla/reflection/billboard etc etc etc and people think it is a sign of divinity, a miracle, etc... right?

How about all those other things you pick out of the pattern on your celing/sidewalk/clouds/carpet/distant trees/reflections/your dog's fur?

For example, imagine you're strolling along....minding your own business....eating a bag of chips (for example, let's say).... Suddenly! Just as you're about to put the chip in your mouth you realise that there is an image of gumby (to use an old family favourite) apparent in the colouration of the chip!!!!

Is this a way of the great little gumby displaying his divinity? Do you start a cult/join a gumby cult? Do you send said chip to the gumby vatican to be certified as a miracle? Do you tour the world on missions to cure the blind with the Holy Gumby Potato Chip? Do you let 11,000 people traipse through your living room to revere the framed and glorified gumby potato chip?

Is Gumby a god or a demon? Does it mean you've been marked for a miracle or tragedy?

STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!!!!

Eat the chip already.

For a real miracle why don't you donate some time to a charity? Call your grandparents to say hello? Donate to your local dog shelter? Tell a friend you love them. Hug someone who needs it....

You get the picture.

See this ? A couple of days ago I would have been just fine and dandy to serve up your favourite tepid lunch time casserole.

MMMMMMM....instant (forced) diet.

Mysteries that need to be solved:

1. The spelling, why? (Look at the "new product" and tell me why the spelling? Squeezle Sauz?

2. What has posessed me to eat 4 tubes of that stuff in the past hour?

3. Why did I not think to save the data inputs sheet for my mother of all spreadsheets as a seperate file before realising that deleting the previous version totally screws up all the cell references which I then have to go back and correct for hours?

Can someone less stupid than me tell me why I can't get pictures up? Is it because I'm trying to use a free server?

Amuse yourselves!

Un-Grammer?

Dis-grammer?

Yo-grammer?

Yo-mommer?

Dewds.

The headache just WON'T GO AWAY!!!

Now, mybrane, explain to me again why I thought going to work and looking at a spreadsheet all day (on my fancy-pants flat screens) would somehow be more tolerable than the drone of TLC blah-blah-personal-cheesiness-fill-in-the-blank story shows (which are infinitely more interesting when you aren't sick)...

Also, I am queen of non-grammar.

My mom hates me for it.

Oh well, fs.

Care for a cuppa ?

People! I know this is old news....but sheesh! How could you not point this little gem out to me?

D just wanted to know if there were pictures.....

(via dink )

Today I "chucked a sickie" ( shut up, you love ). It's true.

I was just so tired from yesterday's fun and games.

The high point of my day? The 4-slice toaster D and I ordered arrived! Yay!

Shut up.

You have no idea how joyful this news is......firstly, our old toaster was a fire disaster waiting to happen. It's casing would burn you. Also, D likes his toast stenchy and burnt, and never turns the dial back to nicely toasted (what he terms raw toast). So, not only would his foul slices tain the air with their stench...I would often have to toast 4 slices for 2 acceptable slices. Oh the trauma!

But now! Now! Now we have a 4 slice toaster with dual controls. Now that, my friends, is what makes life worthwhile.

Moan.

I don't feel so good .

I've got a splitting headache as well.....

Oh, BTW both the Dster and I have felt a bit homesick for Australia lately. We seem to have settled on listening to Midnight Oil, Powderfinger, The Whitlams, and (believe it or not) such cheezy old favourites as "Eagle Rock", "And the band played Waltzing Matilda", and "Pub with no beer."
/
It is truly amazing what homesickness reduces you to.

Oy, J-Ha remind me about the alternative....you know, that little sad villa in Joondalup....

P.S.: I really enjoyed the movie, though it was a bit long. My bladder just couldn't muddle through....I'm weak...and I know it.

Today I had the day off....I'd like to say I was being patriotic (you know, Australia Day and all....but I wasn't)..... Entergy gives me a day off associated with my birthday.

Sweet!

D and I went to watch a movie and then went for a few drinks at a local establishment.

We met up with a few (male) friends. They are now all sitting on the couch playing with the new toy .

doh! the freeserver hosted picture doesn't work...why? why? why?

Birthday Beagle

And I says AMEN!.

(This link was swiped from here )

Now this is pretty interesting, and kind of icky-weird. Especially for those of us that had absent fathers.

Hey, here's some good news....we won something. Or I should say, D won something . I'm not kidding!

Isn't that the coolest?

It arrived today, apparently....he called me gleefully with the news a few minutes ago.

Dadgum stupidhead! Um, I've accidentally misspelled my "name". This code name stuff is hard sometimes. Bum. I'm too inept to figure out how to change it now...so I'm afraid this is a permanent typo!

YAY!!!

I guess this what happens when you get old....

Oh shoot! I forgot to tell you, not only is it my birthday...but it's also Bessie Bean's birthday.

We're going to buy cakes tonight. We've still got party hats from Roo-beast's birthday.

Isn't the Roo-ster cute? Imagine a little Roo running around with max ........

Now then, I actually have work to do. I know, I know...it's downright undignified....but before I go, here's a little treat .

I wonder how long it will take me to figure stuff out on this?

Where can I put pictures...that's what I want to know.

And how do I put up a butt-kissing favourite links list?

Dude , I'm trying...

I can't promise anything, but you never know your luck with me...