Sort-Of Game

There is this sort of game I play. I've played it all my life, I think. Well, actually it isn't a game at all, not when it comes down to it.

It's called the "what-if" game...but not to second-guess decisions (though I do that too.) This is a what-if disaster game. Like standing on the curb while a bus speeds by only inches away and thinking...."What if I'd stepped out in front of it..." I imagine it in vivid detail...would I get mashed under the tires or go bounding off the front? Would my body arc in the air? Or would it just fall over, legs askew?

No! I'm not sad or suicidal. It is just interesting to think about how close we all are to disaster every day.

What if I were to step off this ledge?
What if I were to cross the median?
What if I drove off this bridge?

I don't do it because I'm sad. But, it is a weird way of reminding myself how lucky it is that I'm still standing here every day...and how quickly that could change through a moment of carelessness or bad luck.