Intolerant

Something I have little to no tolerance for:
People that speak to themselves in a public setting for the sole purpose of hoping to engage you in inane and meaningless conversation. For example, whilst filling my car today after work, the woman at the pump opposite me made a HUGE song and dance about inserting her credit card, selecting the grade of petrol etc. Talking to herself in hopes I'd notice and make eye contact so she could then include me in the conversation she was conducting with herself vis a vis pumping gas in general. I knew exactly where she was hoping to go, she was hoping she could have a nice long bitch about how expensive gasoline is...but not as expensive as it was...and blah blah blah.

My new coworker (who is a complete dickbag altogether) also enjoys having conversations with himself. Which is a good thing as he's so alienated himself with everyone that we all avoid talking to him if at all possible. I see him in my peripheral vision, hoping for that one brief slip that would mean a prolonged and painful conversation about why he's so superior/smart etc.

Unlike many people in the Houston (and associated suburbs area), I have been a regular user of public transport before, so I have developed a skillset to minimise the occurrence of being entrapped in conversation with a total stranger about completely nothing. I've even become skilled/hardened enough to manage to avoid most conversations in line at the post office. That is a feat indeed.

The key is...WHATEVER YOU DO....NEVER EVER EVER MAKE EYE CONTACT. EVER! Not even when the slightly deranged girl with unfocused eyes stands so close to you that you can feel her fetid breath on your neck. Not even when your new best friend insits you trade your satchel for his, because he's always wanted a satchel like yours. Not even when the local neighbourhood crank makes it her life mission to insist everyone that visit the post office file a complaint about service because "ever since all these new people moved into the neighbourhood" she has to stand in line for so long (um, longer than five minutes).