For all of you lucky enough to not have already heard me talk this to death (and with much thanks to those that have allowed endless obsession about this), the New York deal isn't dead. We are in the throes of negotiation and I'm dangling in this terrifying do I want this/do I not want this/what if the deal works/what if it doesn't space....

D and I have spent hours trolling real estate sites, and I have been trying to talk to mortgage brokers (which is not as easy as it sounds over the holidays) to figure out if it is even possible for us to buy there, and what salary I would need to be able to borrow what we need to get a reasonable house.

I've come to the point where I'm thinking an hour commute each way is acceptable. (Even in the snow...I mean, come on browneye...did you see the pool? the hot tub?)

Real estate prices are out of control in New York.

I'm out of control in Texas.

Oh the agonizing! Oh the highs! The lows! The drama.

But you know, life is pretty good when the stress you feel is from the possibility of something really cool happening for you and your family. Either way. If I don't move up there, things will change here. Let's just say, New York's interest has shifted some local perceptions of me. If I move to New York it will be because the job is going to be great experience and the lifestyle is something D and I want to experience.

Life is good! Seriously good! But seriously stress inducing. It is hard being a grown up, and the weight of the decision rests solely on my shoulders. I've never been a good negotiator...I'm just no good with bullshit and bluff.