Re: St. Patrick's Day

1. Green Bud Light or any other close to water beer dyed green in honour of St. Paddy. Not Irish.
2. Wearing scottish kilts and playing scottish bagpipes. Not Irish.
3. Playing "Scotland the Brave" on said bagpipes. Not Irish.
4. You are somewhat caucasian, were born here, as were your parents and their parents. Not Irish.
5. Really really bad fake Irish accents and the copious saying of things like "Top o' the morning to ye wee lassie." Still not Irish.
6. Your need to pinch me as I'm not wearing green. Risk losing use of your genitalia. (also, NOT FUCKING IRISH!)