Baby Love

After all that teary lovefest that was induced by such niceness on my birthday and the feel-good doggy mania, I feel the need for a rant (you know to restore the balance.)

Specifically, I feel the need to rant about the scary “I’m so special I’m a mommy/daddy” sector of our bloated current self-indulgent society.

I know, I know…I’m not (yet) a special member of the ever so special “I’m a special mommy, the first in the entire world to experience the miracle of mommyhood” cult, so that in itself negates my right to have an opinion right?

Well, whatever, militant mommies…you can bite me with your righteousness and obsessive need to live life only as defined by your super special one of a kind babykins and his booblybibblyloveydovey super special mumsyanddadsy.

I have known some pretty spectacular women (and men) in my nomadic wanderings, and a lot of them have gorgeous kids. Their kids are spectacularly funny, smart, well adjusted little human beings. They are pleasant to be around and quite funny and clever in their own way. Generally, these little creatures are genial and happy little beings. I can’t wait for them to grow up and be the funny, smart and wonderful additions to the world that I know they will be.

On the other hand, I have met some scary “militant - parent - I – have – no - life – other – than – the – person - I – am – as – defined – by - my - obsessive parenting" people. I'm both scared and repulsed by this self-indulgent social sector. Their children are usually “high needs”, whiney, demanding and actually downright socially unacceptable in many ways. They grow up to be over indulged humans with an inflated sense of entitlement, that is that everything should be given to them through no effort of their own.

Now, stop it, stop it right now. I do not hate babies and I don’t even hate parents, in fact, I admire parents and I love, love, love babies. (And, if you pull out the old chestnut that I’m not “getting any” as the reason why I don’t celebrate your magic wonderfulness as an “enlightened parent”…then you are fuckwit.)

Everyday, all around me I see parents that are modeling rude and self-centered behavior for their little babykins. Especially the parents with the big mofo strollers or those horrendous plastic car shopping trolleys like Kelly pointed out. Or those that get on their high horse in public forums and deride everyone else for not subscribing to their weird obsessive parenting ideas. Especially those that read someone else pointing out how socially-ill adjusted a child is, or poking fun at the "I'm a mommy" obsessiveness and assume immediately that this indicates "baby hatred." Look around you for the result of these “you’re mommy’s specialiast baby” parenting decisions. What do you see?

I see kids that have absolutely no initiative of their own, who give up at the slightest of problems, who wait for their mommy or daddy to clean up their mess, and who are completely socially inappropriate and feel the compulsive need to be the center of attention at all times. And, I see mommy and daddy right behind them spouting off about their “rights” and their need to be “validated” and the inability of the world to acknowledge just how special junior really is. I see parents yanking kids out of social institutions (ie. schools) because the norm just isn’t enough for their super special baby. I see parents isolating their kids and making them social pariahs instead of teaching them how to be part of and help shape the culture in which they live. I don’t know about you, but I see major problems for our future.

I really do think these parents feel entitled to be completely discourteous to the rest of us who obviously aren’t special enough to fling our trophy children around in huge contraptions while offering them a teat whenever jr. gets grizzly or cranky. Way to go, make sure your baby’s first formative idea is that when the going gets tough, the first thing one should do is shove sustenance in their mouth. Is it any wonder we are the most obese nation in the world?

A few months back I linked to an article bemoaning the state of affairs at universities, with mommy and daddy calling to discuss junior’s grade or to ask for extensions for junior because he is going on a special family vacation. Gag. I guess it is hard when your entire identity is centered around being a mommy/daddy to let it go when your kids should be grown and taking care of their own business.

As a counterpoint, I do see kids that are happy, relaxed and generally well adjusted little people. And what I see when I see these kids, are happy well-adjusted parents that have something other in their lives than to obsess about their role as a parent and the super specialness of their little babykins.

Be clear you freaky obsessive “I’m nothing if not a mommy” type people. Babies are great; it’s what you do to contort their little psyches that is scary.